


YFIP: JOHN ADAMS

by august_songs



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen, Tumblr, Twitter, that one meme, the lams is low-key
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-27
Updated: 2016-02-15
Packaged: 2018-05-09 20:07:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5553605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/august_songs/pseuds/august_songs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>alex hamilton makes a callout post for john adams. things get messy.<br/>(social media x the adams administration. ft texts, and one controversial tumblr post)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. the post

**Author's Note:**

> mmm i wrote this in an hour  
> alexander hamilton as a sjw..... i lov  
> also i have the full text of ham's call out post. i might include it in the next chap! comment if you're interested

> **PSA/YFIP about** : **JOHN ADAMS (@ johnadams)**

alexham: This post has been a long time coming, because you can only put up with so much irresponsible bullshit from awful bloggers, horrible politicians, and all-around national embarrassments such as John Adams @johnadams before you gotta let the public know. 

First off, some context. Adam’s been in politics for a while. We all know how George Washington @gwash my man broke the United States of America away from England (and King George @royalhighnessg). Washington rightfully decided that he’d spent a ton of time helping to create and running the shitshow that is this country. There’s a bunch of people who could have been president after him, right? I think Thomas Jefferson (im lmfao at the idea that he could EVER be president) and Adams were the main candidates. Adams got elected.

(And before you say I’m biased, I’m a Federalist like Adams. But he’s such a shitty leader that I still feel like I gotta make this post.) I don’t care if this is some huge ass scandalous thing. But. Adams has been a horrible president and bad leader. So don’t fucking vote for him in 1800. There are some other Federalists who are at LEAST 174392x better than him. Adams should fucking stick to philosophy, thanks.

Now, onto the real call out.

  1. Adams took SEVEN MONTHS OFF during the middle of an (undeclared) naval war with France. (Which, oh yeah, he was also partially responsible for starting.) The French were destroying hundreds of our ships, Abigail writes and says ‘oh, I might have the flu!’, and what does John do? He goes to MA for 7 months in the middle of a war. A WAR. Nice going, asshole. I mean, you want a president who’s gonna be there. not this guy.



Read More

 

 

 

 _from: Burr_ Hamilton, are you TRYING to ruin your party? You may have destroyed John Adam’s political career for good! Adams is trying. Don’t be an idiot. Did you really need to make that post?

 _to: Burr_ listen, buddy. pal. bro i see yr point but consider this. u could… not be a dick abt it

 _to: Burr_ and Damn Right i destroyed his career okay. 

 _to: Burr_ actually he did most of the work himself

 _from: Burr_ I’m blocking your number

 _to: Burr_ why are u afraid of the Truth

 

 

 _from: JMad_ Hamilton what the fuck

 _to: JMad_ new phone who dis

 _from: JMad_ James Madison…? But you could have, you know, talked to Adams before you PUBLICALLY made a call out post

 _to: JMad_ sry cant hear u overt the sound of him bitching about me in approximately 8927 letters 2 his wife and accusing me of being in league w Britain

 _to: JMad_ like

 _to: JMad_ sorry i think their financial system works and that france is a fucking mess rn

 _to: JMad_ not sorry actually

 _from: JMad_ well thanks for guaranteeing us a victory in 1800 lol

 _from:_ JMad only u could destroy ur own party and then act self-righteous

 

 

 _from: dickwad_ thanks hamilton uwu you're really lending me a hand in the 1800 election

 _to: dickwad_  ok listen jefferson you can suck my dick 

 _to: dickwad_ havent you already paid someone to do that ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

_dickwad has been deleted as a contact_

_dickwad has been blocked_

 

 _from: Washingdad_ Hamilton, I'm gone for 5 minutes and this is what you do?

 _to: Washingdad_ he deserved it

 

 _from: Laurens_  drAG HIM

 _from: Laurens_  IM JUST FUKCING YELLING HAM DID U RLLY THINK THIS THROUGH

 _to: Laurens_ no

 _to: Laurens_  but

 _to: Laurens_  ive been told by 3 ppL now that adams political career is over

 _to: Laurens_  serves that ugly motherfucker right

 

 _from: Adams_  hamilton WHA T EHT FUCK

 _to: Adams_  sit the FUCK down adams you don't get 2 b mad

 _to: Adam_  stay in ur philosophy lane n stop pretending 2 b a good politician

 _to: Adams_  bitch i have sources

 

 

 _ThomJeff_ started a new group chat 

_Burr has joined the group chat._

_MADison has joined the group chat._

 

 _MADison:_ Thomas change back my name

 _ThomJeff:_ *hamilton voice* I'm gonna fukcing destroy the Federalists and split the party

why, hamilton?

*hamilton voice* idk it sounds fun

and no MADison I'm not gonna

 _Burr:_ literally hamilton

haha the federalists won’t have a single candidate

hamilton wont run

he BETTER not run

 _ThomJeff:_ if he runs we’ll fucking drag him

i mean i didn't tell y'all this but we have sources

he fucking stole over $25k from the govmt its wild 

 _MADison:_ holy FUCK

no way ho my god I'm gonna yell

 _Burr:_ no comment but holy Shit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave kudos/comments if you enjoyed!!
> 
> EDIT i'll upload the next chapter in the next hour or two thank @ commenters holy shit


	2. the schuyler sisters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> introduction of twitter to the fic!! angelica! jefferson is Not Gay For Hamilton (tm)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im a lazy bitch so u will get alex summarizing the rest of the post and later i'll edit the full callout post into the first chapter!
> 
> thank you SO MUCH to everyone who commented and kudos'ed

 

_~Angelica's phone~_

_from: Eliza-_ okay i know ur in engljand andn the wifi si bad but mmMMMMIG MY GD CHECK UR DASHBOARD

_to: Eliza-_ eliza calm ur titties holy fuck

_to: Eliza-_ listen hun ur gonna have 2 be more specific

_from: Eliza-_ remember when i threatened 2 throw hamiltons computer into the river

_to: Eliza_ \- yeah

_from: Eliza-_ im stuck btwn wishing i had and being sO GLAD that i didn't 

_from: Eliza-_ check his blog

to: Eliza- yeah okay

_to: Eliza-_ hOLY FUCK OH MY GOT BITCH

_to: Eliza-_ I _SWEARD TO GD IM_

_from: Eliza-_ this is worse then the samuel seabird incident I'm usdhjadbeywu

_to: Eliza_ \- the year is 1800. a new century. alex hamilton cant keep his fucking mouth shut, rips adams a new one, proves that only wimps write call out posts under 1000 words long

_from: Eliza-_ have you even seen the whole post

_to: Eliza-_ its not loading below the cut?

_from: Eliza-_ get ham 2 explain it it’ll make his dAy

_from: Eliza-_ im still screaming holy fukc

 

 

_to: Ham-_ eliza just called me she's literally screaming care 2 explain urself

_from: Ham-_ eat my ass angie

_to: Ham-_ angie is nOt my name u fuckwad

_from: Ham-_ but ye john adams is shitty and i hate him

_to: Ham-_ fukcing drama queen. but. why is he shitty pls tell. my webpage isn't loading

_from Ham-_ like i didn't just write an entire post about this i cant believe i have to explain this al over agin

_from: Ham-_ bitch!!! fine!!!

_from: Ham-_ Adams took SEVEN MONTHS OFF during the middle of a war???? 7 months??? like what he fuck doing????? and also even his own biography (reviewed by like everyone) says hes a worse president then philosopher. which is saying something. cuz he cant write for shit

_from: Ham-_ also he called me the devil once. and get this in 76 he called HIMSEFL a dick. like. shame all that self awareness has gone down the drain. he bitched abt serving under washington as well????? like bitch pls??

_from: Ham-_ OH AND after we went to all that fcuking effort to make sure ppl had free speech, over here in the USA, u know what he did??? he fUCKING PASSED AN LAW MAKING IT ILLEGAL TO CRITICIZE HIM

_from: Ham-_ also he hates immigrants pass it on :-)

_from: Ham_ \- he drags himself honestly I'm just amazed

_to: Ham_ \- i cnat bleave

 

 

 

@alexham: @AngieSky did u just create a twitter account solely to make that tweet RT _@AngieSky: hamilton says john adams is a self drag who agrees #theentirecongressforstarters_

 

@AngieSky: @alexham eat my ass

 

@JeffersonofState: @AngieSky @alexham  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

@AngieSky: @JeffersonofState ಠ_ಠ (ง •̀_•́)ง

 

 

_TommyJ_ started a new group chat

_Burr has joined the group chat._

_JOYKILL JAMES has joined the group chat._

 

Burr: JOYKILL JAMES and TommyJ????

TommyJ: blame madison

           okay but also

           im looking through hamiltons twitter feed and i think he might be running for president???? or trying to????? wtf????

JOYKILL JAMES: holy fuck he destroyed his own party and he’s running?? lmao

TommyJ: listen maddy u don't know alex like i do it sounds ridiculous but unless some1 does something to stop him i bet $242132 that he’d make it surprisingly far he's a ufcking force of nature

Burr: should we talk to him about the Money?

TommyJ: yeah fuck

           who wants to do it

JOYKILL JAMES: its ur info u ask him

TommyJ: fuck you james

           and u burr i see u ignoring my misfortune

         

 

 

@JeffersonofState: @alexham call me right now

 

@Laurens: @alexham didn't know @JeffersonofState was a clingy bf 

 

@Jmads: @Laurens legit 2 secs ago @JeffersonofState said ‘listen u don't know alex like i do’ im fukcing 

 

@alexham: @Jmads send my hate to @Laurens

 

@JeffersonofState: @Jmads bitch i trusted u. but srsly @alexham ur not the only one w receipts ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please please please leave comments and kudos if you liked it!!! I probably won't sleep at All tonight (gotta love that insomnia) so i might get another chap up soon!!!!!!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> new rule alexander hamilton is not allowed to do anything ever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> s/o to @goingbadly because i wrote this chapter in ~35 minutes after they said they liked it!!!!!
> 
> also im very sorry because, again, this is an angsty scene written in 35 minutes over....text messages. (tw for slight suicide ment at the end fyi)
> 
> ALSO HMU AT august-songs.tumblr.com PLEASE yell abt hamilton with me.
> 
> comments make my day!!

@JeffersonofState: *coughs quietly* @alexham check yr DMs

 

@USTreasury: ”MyRA is is cooler than my RA ever was at Columbia"-@POTUS RT

@ceodonovan: has anyone made any good jokes about the president making better retirement accounts right before he himself retires

 

@JeffersonofState: @alexham you cant just retweet jokes about @POTUS instead of responding to me

@alexham: @JeffersonOfState source?? i wld never

@JeffersonofState: @alexham sweetie!!!! check the rts (:

[ _https://twitter.com/digiphile/status/692515323619184641_ ](https://twitter.com/digiphile/status/692515323619184641)

 

[@USTreasury has blocked you from viewing their tweets.]

 

 

**_Thomas Jeffersin_ has added _Hamilton_ to a conversation.**

 

 _Thomas Jeffersin:_ Hamilton, call me. Srsly. We need to talk. ;)

 _Hamilton:_ you got a whole fuckng new phone so that you could text me. and then added me on some extra website., shut the fuck up. also who the Fuk uses srsly when they’re being serious

 _Hamilton:_ (answer: YOU!!! pretentious asswhole)

 _Thomas Jeffersin:_ Fine. If you won’t pick up the phone, and you won’t come back 

 _Thomas Jeffersin_ : I mean you can but like. I have so much dirt on you you don't even know

 _Hamilton_ : no?????????? what the fuck tom???? what sorta dirt hve u faked abt me???

 _Hamilton:_ i mean like theres literally nothing u could pull

 _Thomas Jeffersin_ : LMAOOO what about that $25000 u illegally invested????? bitch where ur god at now

 _Hamilton:_ i would never!!! btray the us of a by !! illegally!! investing!! what the fuck!! what i did with that 25k was my own Got Dam business

 _Hamilton:_ and it was more like 26k actually??

 _Thomas Jeffersin:_ what…thefuck….did you spen d 26 thousand $$ of govmt money on???

 _Hamilton:_ not illegal investing

 _Thomas Jeffersin:_ mmhm im sure lmaoo 

 _Hamilton_ : NOT ILLEGAL INNVESTING OH MGY OD I WOULDNT DO THAT I spent it on something thats actually less illegal okay!!

 _Thomas_ _Jeffersin_ : the fuck did your bitch ass spend it on tho?? denial isn't just a river in egypt

 _Hamilton_ : ill tell u

 _Hamilton_ : but only if you don't tell anyone else!! and stop spreading this fake shit about me investing where i wasn't supposed to

 _Thomas_ Jeffersin: de….ni….ale……

 _Hamilton_ : i cheated okay and her piece of shit husband found out and forced me to pay him for it

 _Thomas Jeffersin:_ um wtf

 _Thomas Jeffersin:_ also what sort of fake ass reach?? like ?????

 _Hamilton_ : [ATTATCHED: Screenshot 245] [ATTATCHED: Screenshot 246] [ATTATCHED: Screenshot 247] [ATTATCHED: Screenshot 248]

 _Thomas Jeffersin:_ ….

 _Thomas Jeffersin:_ holy shit

 _Thomas Jeffersin:_ hamilton noah fence but you are the actual most idiotic person ever

 _Thomas Jeffersin:_ like how the fuck did you get chosen as the treasury secretary if this is your response????

 _Hamilton_ : dont tell anyone holy shit tom okay just stop saying bad shit about me

 _Thomas Jeffersin:_ Read 1:45 AM

 _Hamilton_ : you….litrally….just typed out the phrase…… read 1:45 am…. its three in the morning…. i take back  anything nice i’ve ever said about you

 _Hamilton_ : after further consideration i realize that I've never said anything nice about you, so i take back anything nice anyone else has ever said about you

 

[Alexander Hamilton left this chat]

 

 _Madison_ : um.

 _ABurr_ : thmoas wha t ht e fuc k.

 

@alexham: hah:)a i enjoy dyning and being dead. also i am going to Actually Die if anything happens!!!!

@alexham: please kmn

@alexham: why is the only way:)that i can clam down:) writing actual essays:)))))))))

@alexham: fuck

@alexham: @ everyone im a good person

@alexham: @ every1 haha psych!!! bithc you thought RT "@alexham: @ everyone im a good person"

@alexham: fuck

**Author's Note:**

> Don't forget to kudos/comment if you liked it! I'll probably upload the next chapter after 5 kudos. or in a week. lmao
> 
> thanks!!!


End file.
